Hours pass as I stare at the blank screen.
Where did the ideas go?
Where did the creativity go?
The blank screen stares back. Only the cursor blinking as if it is telling me to do something already.
Nope. I am in The Darkness now.
This cursor can blink as loud as it wants to. There is nothing coming.
April was my Darkness. Milestones for past history I would rather not think about to my dad getting his cancerous kidney removed.
Stress. Anxiety. Worry. Sadness.
My brain can’t handle it. It short circuits. The ideas and creativity play Houdini and disappear.
Let me tell you the number that does on my brain. The two most valuable things I do, nowhere to be found.
This is my purpose as a man. My job is to find the answers that help my clients make more money. Nothing is working.
I am still in The Darkness.
Confidence is following suit. Nothing feels like it is working.
Will I ever figure it out?
Of course I will. I didn’t understand this as a young man, but it truly is darkest before dawn.
I’m not sure about anybody else, but when I fight through The Darkness, I always have major breakthroughs immediately after. Both as a man and professionally.
I think these times are important reflections on our insecurities. A time to look at the things we do not like about ourselves. We come back into the light knowing what we have to do.
- •Where can I improve?
- •What are my priorities?
- •What skills do I need to learn?
- •What is actually important?
- •Who is actually important?
- •Why?
Then figure out how to make it all happen.
For instance one of the last times I went through The Darkness, I weighed 310 pounds. I am at 230 today.
Don’t eat like a fatty. That is the harsh, but simple truth.
Everything becomes so clear. It reminds me of the “He’s Flying” scene in the movie F1 when Brad Pitt goes into flow state.
That is what I feel like right now. Everything is clicking together.
The confidence is back.
The creativity is back.
The ideas are flowing.
I have a better idea of who I want to be.
More importantly, what I have to do to make that happen.
I don’t get to the light without going through The Darkness.